


Atheistic

by xiubeans



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fallen Angel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 03:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12762393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiubeans/pseuds/xiubeans
Summary: a • the • is • ticadjectivedisbelieving or lackinɡ belief in the existence of God





	Atheistic

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

Impossible blue eyes like the sapphire ocean gazed at him. 

“It did. So much. It hurt so much.”

The angel pushed his large jacket off to reveal two wings. The bewildered man looked. No longer were those wings snow-white. They were a sickly gray, pale and death-like. The wings, once beautiful and lined with perfect rows of soft feathers, were now falling to the ground as though they were being molted. What remained was a leathery frame, tinged with black and red skin. Burnt from fire. Raw from abuse. 

Unholy. 

Impure. 

Demonic. 

But those human eyes looked upon him with pity—pity that was only reserved for when one stumbled upon a little orphan. And he was disgusted. He was more powerful than any human. An ethereal being like him deserved the fear and respect of unimportant maggots like them!

But he felt curious. After all, why should a human meddle in God’s affairs and deal with His banished angels? 

No, he was no longer an angel. Rather, he is a fallen angel now. Pride and loathing towards God’s favorite creation has its price, and he paid it dearly. 

Again he drew his gaze to this man—dark-haired, broad shoulders, a brooding look that was clearly hiding his true interior. The man—he extended his hand to the fallen angel. 

“It’s almost nighttime. Let’s go to my place before the sun sets.”

The fallen being looks at the hand, then to the man. How insolent! Man cannot help Heaven’s highest being with a mere gesture. But before he can even refuse the hand that reached out to help he took it. 

After all, he was no longer an angel. He had lost that title when he clashed with God. 

*

“Why does nobody love me?” Kihyun sobs, his fully-turned wings a gruesome contrast to his youthful and handsome appearance. They wrap around his body like a a child’s blanket in a feeble attempt to hide himself from the shameful gaze of the man. 

“Kihyun—“

“God didn’t love me,” the fallen angel says. His wings draw closer to him and he shies away from the man’s touch. 

The uncharacteristic outburst startled Hyunwoo. The normally curious and cynical being was found crying in the bathroom with the last of his feathers falling around him. What remained was an ugly frame, dark with soot from Hell and crimson with the blood of sinners. He doesn’t know the cause of Kihyun’s anguish but it pains him to see the other like this. Even if he was some kind of supernatural being Kihyun closely resembles a human, both in anatomy and psychology. The feelings he has, though often suppressed due to his idea that emotions are what makes humans weak, are undeniably human. 

“What is my purpose if I am no longer an angel?” Kihyun continues through distorted tears. “I was created to serve God; now I have been cast out of His paradise. What is my purpose, then?” Hyunwoo bends down and touches the other’s foot, bringing Kihyun’s attention to the man’s face. 

“I was prideful because I lived with a purpose. I was jealous because I saw how much He loved his creations—but not me. I was jealous of these creatures that were born of clay and mud and served no purpose towards aiding Him. He loved them more than me.” Kihyun heaves a shuddering sigh that shakes the very frame of his body and wings. 

Hyunwoo slowly gathers up the fallen angel into his arms and comfortingly rubs his back. He doesn’t know what to say because the idea of a purpose in a life that only lasted for one trillionth of an entire star’s lifetime was too broad, too overwhelming, too philosophical for a simple man like him to wrap his mind around. But he knows how Kihyun feels; that hollow feeling in your heart when you realize that perhaps your life is meaningless once you consider that everything set in society is only that: it’s just society. Money has no meaning because it was only a glorified piece of copper. Books are just dozens of pieces of paper tacked together with words scribbled on them. Love is just sexual desire simply twisted into something romantic—something more. There were so many exceptions, so many rules, but none of them mattered because those things were never relevant in the first place. 

Kihyun’s body presses against the man’s. Hyunwoo can feel the human warmth coming off of him, the normal rise and fall of his body as in breathes. He runs his thumb against the joint that connects the fallen angel’s wings to his back and feels Kihyun shiver against him. 

“Do you believe in a god?” Kihyun asks. Leather brushes against soft skin as he shifts into a better resting position. 

Hyunwoo pushes brown hair out of Kihyun’s face and watches his once sky-blue eyes look up at him. He considers the question for a moment before shaking his head. 

“How come?” 

The man looks up at the ceiling and gathers his thoughts. “God is just a concept. We made up this higher being to explain why life is the way it is. We take comfort in the idea that our lives are in control because it’s not really. Humans like the feeling of having or being in control. We feel safer that way.” He returns his gaze to Kihyun’s face. Mud-brown eyes stare back at him, pained and confused but strangely at peace. “What about you?”

The fallen man’s lips part open to speak. “I no longer believe in a god,” he says, and as soon as his lips closed his wings crumbled into dust.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I’ve been busy with school and I’m struggling with writing but I hope I can continue to receive inspiration and write whenever I can. Thank you to everybody for reading and providing support, it really means a lot!


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